Zing
Kramer: I want you to get on this phone and give him his 'thank you'!
Jerry: No. No, I can't!
Kramer: Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of
society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't
you just get in your car and move to the East Side!
From Seinfeld, Episode #109 "The Face Painter"
mike sold out at - 21:28
3.26.2004
Too Much Information
So I had these giant pieces of wax in my ears that were cloggin my hearing until last night. A combination of mineral oil and hot water flushes got them out! Unfortunately, the mineral oil is a laxative and seems to have found its way to my stomache.
mike sold out at - 10:57
3.22.2004
G-Lo
From Media Notes
In Washington, of course, everything must be studied and scrutinized. So the Center for Media and Public Affairs has divined that Bush remains the biggest late-night target -- the butt of 213 jokes from Jan. 1 through March 9 -- compared with 53 for Kerry (who barely beat the 43 jibes aimed at Dennis Kucinich). Even in February, when Kerry was surging to the nomination, it was Bush hands down, 121 to 25.
"The president will always be the biggest butt of the jokesters -- he's the political-humor J. Lo," the center's Matthew Felling says.
Ah, the Prez as J-Lo. Makes sense to me.
mike sold out at - 12:08
3.18.2004
More Results of the Weekend
It's Thursday and I'm still talking about the weekend, huh?
More highlights:
-We build a four-level human pyramid, beating our previous record by one level, which was set back in Spring 2001.
-Snow tubing at Wisp. If you haven't ever done this, you must- basically you slide on a inner tube down a molded slope with jumps. It's even better if you do Synchronized Snow Tubing as Ray and I did (think the same moves as synchronized swimming but while lying on an inner tube), soon to be an exhibition sport at the 2012 Summer Olympics if it comes to NYC.
-I cook egg sandwiches for Chad and myself using air freshener spray instead of cooking oil spray (I swear that the can looked exactly like cooking spray and was right next to the stove). While we're eating, I say "does this taste a little like soap to you?" We only discover that there is no oil spray in the house after we're done eating. Convulsions and hilarity ensue, as well as discussion of the toxicity of triethyl glycol. Glaven.
mike sold out at - 16:42
3.17.2004
Damn
Look at this video clip of Rumsfeld on Face the Nation. I think that simply by taking Rumsfeld to task here, Tom Friedman (the mustachioed man shown briefly who is reading the quotes) has won his place back in the pantheon of great liberal political writers. Keep up the good work, Tom!
mike sold out at - 23:19
3.16.2004
Dirty, Tired, and Happy
So Dino and Paige are now engaged! Hot. The event took place with most of the college friends gathered up in Deep Creek Lake in far western Maryland. We rented a schweet-ass house and hurt our livers severely with alcohol. A video was also made of an experiment throwing rocks into the frozen lake, which will be released shortly.
The highlights of the weekend included a highly-competitive version of freestyle pictionary. some of the best entries:
Overwhelming (where a vase, a map of china, dollar signs, and a man with slanty eyes were drawn to elicit the sylable "Ming")
Clevl@nd Ste@mer (I got this one in about five seconds, as it was drawn literally)
Elton John
Me: "this is a famous person"
Dino [before I draw anything on the page]: "Elton John!"
mike sold out at - 20:11
3.12.2004
Stupid Technology
The yellow toner in the color printer exploded this week, and now I can't print out this oh-so-important proposal that has beautiful pictures that needs to go out. That and hotmail is broken. How am I supposed to go away for the weekend with out checking hotmail before I go? I might have a panic attack. Well, not really- I don't think hotmail has ever induced that.
mike sold out at - 16:06
3.11.2004
Give Some Slogans To Me
It's almost too easy: make your own Bush-Cheney poster. No cuss words allowed, though.
mike sold out at - 16:39
Hmmm
This is kind of disturbing- about 1/4 of the post-war soldier fatalities in Iraq are from unspecified "non-combat" injuries and there's a couple who were merely "noticed to not be breathing while sleeping." kind of odd. I had heard under the table rumors about a number of soldiers committing suicide in Iraq, but this is a really large number of non-combat deaths...
mike sold out at - 12:35
3.09.2004
Cheney Calls the Court
While I think the Clarence Thomas joke in this NPR bit is a little stereotyped, the Justice Stephens message made me laugh and laugh and laugh.
I need help. Is nerdaholics or wonkaholics a real organization?
mike sold out at - 13:50
3.05.2004
I was worried I wouldn't have anything to blog until I came across this little ditty about how Bush's use of 9/11 in political ads might look in another period of history.
mike sold out at - 17:19
3.04.2004
I put in Haloscan comments today. Hopefully these will work better than Enetnation...
mike sold out at - 12:53
3.03.2004
Better Than The Onion
So there is a "What Do You Think" feature in the Astoria/LIC Journal which I have to read for work. In today's version, there was a question about whether or not people think the Constitution should be amended to allow naturalized citizens like Schwarzenager to run for President. Everyone agreed, except for this elderly white couple "Kelly and wife Julie" who said:
I don't want anybody to come here and be president, we have enough problems with terrorism.
That's right, Kelly and Julie, not only are we overwhelmed with terrorism, there are hordes of brainwashed, Al-Qaeda-sponsored Mancurian Candidates knocking on our gates, just trying to get in and run for President... although I suppose it would be a lot cheaper if we had immigrants run our government or if we outsourced the presidency to the Cayman Islands.
mike sold out at - 10:47
3.01.2004
Current State: Border
I am a 49% Yankee according to the Yankee/Dixie Quiz. But if I call a drive-through liquor store a "brew-thru"* then I am 55% Dixie! yee-haw!
* I think this question is flawed, because the test claims that Brew-thru is used only in VA and NC, two states which don't have drive-through liquor stores. Now who's a Yankee? huh? Take that, test!
