The More You Know
Lessons from this weekend:
1. Liquids labeled with the words "wild" or "irish" should
2. The "fortified" in fortified wine does not imply that it will improve your health.
11.19.2002
Are You PoMo?
This is the best deconstruction of a Stxy song that I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot. Well, okay it's not good at all and the only deconstruction of a Styx song I've ever seen, but it's funny that someone went to the trouble of doing it. Scroll past the lyrics and image for the essay...
11.14.2002
Evidence that I am a Twelve-Year Old..
...or at least have the sense of humor of one. While doing some tedious filing at work, I started laughing out loud when I read this line in a letter from a government agency:
On behalf of Commissioner Wang, I thank you for your interest in providing services to the Department of Employment.
11.12.2002
The Mothership Has Landed
Good news swishophiles! Cafe Swish has finally opened! According to high-ranking Columbia officials who requested anonymity, the "inside is all swished up."
I'll see all of you at the corner of 116th and Broadway.
11.10.2002
Update: my page is now #1 in relevance on Google for Snoop Dogg Blunt Wraps.
11.08.2002
Full Cavity Search
So according to my hits counter, my webpage has been getting an inordinate number of hits from search engines for the following phrases:
"Sean Combs Blue Flame"
"Snoop Dogg Blunts" and in the same line
"Stores that sell flavored blunt-wrappers"
"Cafe Swish New York"
"Bush pushing lady down stairs"
taking the view that the more hits this page gets, the better, I write the following in hopes of capturing some really bizarre web searches:
goats love milk and honey chocolate asthma drowning fetish sheep peter dubin president bush president clinton porno porno porno jail bait spacecraft
smoove b. the onion cnn nbc all my children cows bon jovi def leppard pour some sugar on me in the name of love arlenes grocery
that should do it...
and following up on yesterday's entry, Cooter (real name Ben Jones) lost in his race for Congress against Eric Cantor 30% to 70%. I'm disappointed, as I was looking forward to having a Congressman Cooter.
11.07.2002
Cooter Who?
Sometimes as a humorist, you have to know when to step out of the way and just present the material as-is. Here's a bit of nostalgia for UVA Alumni and Dukes of Hazard fans. From the Cavalier Daily:
11/6/2002
Depicting
To the Editor:
The editorial cartoon by Clay Yount that ran on Monday, Nov. 4 has a serious issue that he should address. It is clear from the cartoon's caption that he is not familiar with "The Dukes of Hazzard." Cooter would never be driving the General Lee in the situation Yount depicted. Although Cooter has been known to take the General Lee for a quick spin around the Hazzard County courthouse in some crazy scheme to get the Duke boys out of jail, he would never be driving across a ravine. Cooter drives a tow truck. Everyone knows this. Bo and Luke Duke drive the General Lee. Everyone knows this, too.
So, in short, Yount's cartoon was flawed. That, and it wasn't even funny at all. (I will forgive him this time, though, because sometimes he draws some funny stuff.)
Jay Rosenberger
COMM IV
11.04.2002
Talk To My Agent... er...
After someone we met this weekend pulling a joke and claiming they were an actress from Days of Our Lives, I came up with this list of potential fake things to claim celebrity status for:
