Two Deeps Thoughts
Why is a tire shop on 4th ave open at 12:30 at night? And why are there lots of guys walking into an entrance obscured by piles of tires?
Would there be any takers for the Schnapptastic Diet(tm), i.e. one that would consist of "a steady course of ridicule and shame"?
Offers: 2
Takers: 0
mike sold out at - 23:26
9.25.2002
We Don't Need Your Civil War
So I got an email at work yesterday that went something like this:
Times Square BIDFlash:
Due to a filming of a reenactment of the civil war for the Dave Letterman Show, West 53rd Street between Broadway and 8th Ave will be closed from 3-7 this afternoon. Expect significant traffic delays.
Since it was the end of the day, I immediately high-tailed it out of there and indeed found a 1-minute reenactment of the civil war in the middle of midtown. I thought the war was actually fought somewhere around East 18th, but no, it was west 53rd. They had a cannon that they fired off and everything. Plus as a bonus, the Union army was wearing blue pajamas. It was pretty sweet.
mike sold out at - 13:57
9.19.2002
Things That Make You Go "Hmm"
So I had said to Andy some months back that if President Bush ever used the slogan "War is Peace" from George Orwell's book 1984, that I would buy a gun and move to Montana or New Hampshire. Well this afternoon I checked the front page of The Washington Post and saw the following quote used as a caption for a picture.
President Bush: "To keep the peace, you've got to have the authorization to use force."
My friends, that gun purchase is not far away. :-)
mike sold out at - 14:31
9.16.2002
The AP is Smart
For the nerdily-inclinded:
An Associated Press snafu
mike sold out at - 12:42
9.13.2002
These chairs are hot!
Stackable Chairs
and made by prisoners...
mike sold out at - 16:14
A Study In Tedium
Beyond the world of cards, there's so much more to my office. Like today when I brought in a bag of sugar cookies from Marla's mom. These noble cookies made the trip from Springfield, VA all the way to Brooklyn via rental car, thence up the stairs via hand, down the stairs via my backpack, to midtown manhattan via subway, to my office. The cookies then sat in a drawer for two days, when I put them out for my co-workers to get a sugar high. Unfortunately, these were sugar cookies and the excess transport described above seemed to have reduced half the bag to a form of powdered cookie crumbles. So I served them anyways, sans cookie-dust.
mike sold out at - 10:46
9.11.2002
Two observations
#1
Cards passed around offices-- for whatever occasion, birthdays, being sick, leaving your job, promotions, demotions, babies, marriages, bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations, etc.-- are handled by workers of those offices like they are the plague. People want to write their piece (or not, if they really have never spoken to the person) and pass it on as soon as possible. I myself have ran frantically around the office from cube to cube, trying to pass off a card on an unsuspecting coworker. It's really quite frustating.
#2
This morning while going over the Manhattan Bridge on the W Train (no relation to our president, master of gettin' down on it), I look over into Empire-Brooklyn Bridge Park (between the Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges) and see a photo shoot. Not just any photo shoot, but one with five women in full burka of various primary colors with the lower Manhattan skyline as a background. It was an interesting moment.
mike sold out at - 10:51
9.07.2002
So I wake up this morning to a series of loud crashing sounds. I look out the window and there is a crew of men demolishing this sketchy tar-paper, wood, and cinder block warehouse behind my apartment building that looked like it was about to fall down at any point. Since it was fairly entertaining to see a building being pulled down, a bunch of neighbors gathered in their backyards to watch, including myself (I watched from the roof).
As the day wore on, it became clear to me that the foreman of the demolition "crew" had very little control over his men. At one point a concrete wall was about to fall onto the garden of my first-floor neighbor, so he had four men hold the wall up with 2x4s while they slipped a rope around it from the other side to bring it down away from the garden. Meanwhile, as one of the crew is slipping the rope around the wall, the guys with the 2x4s are pushing the wall back and forth, prompting this exchange:
Foreman: "Stop pushing the wall!"
1st Crewmember (while pushing the wall back and forth with his 2x4): "huh?"
Foreman: "Stop pushing the wall!"
2nd Crewmember (also pushing the wall back and forth): "huh?"
Foreman: "Goddammit! Stop pushing the wall!"
Finally, they get the rope around the wall and pull it down, and the men walk away, catching one of their 2x4s in my neighbor's peach tree:
Foreman: "Stop breakin' the lady's tree!"
Crewmember: "Huh?"
Foreman: "I said-- Stop breakin' the lady's tree!"
Crewmember: "Huh?"
Foreman: "Stop breakin' the lady's tree!"
Anyways, while I was just about to post this-- there was a giant crash and I looked out back to see one of the crew lying on his back, semi-conscious. He apparently was was gashed in the neck/chin by a 2x4 as another wall collapsed. I went downstairs to check him out and give first-aid and luckily the ambulance got there right away.
I guess the point of this blog entry is don't hire "Benjamin & Son" for your demolition needs.
mike sold out at - 19:11
9.05.2002
On 9th avenue today I encountered a eatery entitled "Mexican-Chinese Restaurant".
Upon poking my head in the door, I ascertained that they did indeed serve mexican and chinese dishes. I had thought it was possible that they fused mexican and chinese cooking techniques. But what they do fuse there is people-- there was a man of undeterminate race behind the counter, who was either latino or asian, I couldn't tell.
mike sold out at - 14:09
9.03.2002
On the cowboy of 4th avenue (brooklyn):
there is a man on 4th avenue (brooklyn)
who wears all black and two boots on his feet
and a ten gallon hat upon his head
with a leather vest
and an american flag
in his briefcase.
I see him day and night-- after work,
after drinks
on the street.
Where does he live?
What does he ride-- a horse?
a mule?
a pontiac?
not dead or alive, not jon bon,
just walking down the street.
why?
