As of late I have been attempting to sell an extra long twin bed with Harvard frame on Craig's List. Observe the following exchange between a prospective buyer and myself:
From: Idonovan@aol.com
Date: Fri, 30 Aug 2002 19:37:23 EDT
To: michaelfs@bigzoo.net
Subject: twin bed
whtas a harvard frame?
From: michaelfs@bigzoo.net
To: Idonovan@aol.com
a harvard frame is a plain frame.
if you had gone to harvard you would have known that...
mike sold out at - 21:27
Shiner news:
Andrew Price claims that this woman is the devil and is secretly controlling the shriners.
mike sold out at - 11:56
8.29.2002
A coworker referred me to this wonderful page of all the Shriners chapters that have a webpage. While the initial page is boring, I assure you it is totally worth it to find a random page and click on it. For example: try the Damascus, NY Shriners click on Shiner Clowns for true hilarity. Please send me any excellent chapter's pages, such as that of the Illustrious Sir Herb Shultz, Potentate.
-"So what do you have to do around here to get Potentate?"
Background: You may wonder what a Shriner is. They are a special order of masons that get to wear hats, but not just hats-- fezes. that's right-- fezes, like Will Farrell in Austin Powers. Sometimes they appear at parades in tiny cars and do formation driving. They also appropriate various Middle Eastern cultures for their ceremonies.
mike sold out at - 16:29
8.23.2002
Apparently I am a model for Federal Express.
mike sold out at - 15:48
Now by popular demand- Comments!
Click on it down there.....
mike sold out at - 10:41
8.22.2002
More proof that I (and my friends) are complete dorks and that there are people out there far dorky than us
excerpted from a conversation over IM
Mich@el Freedm@n-Schn@pp says:
look at the title of one of the founders at this company where Josh works: http://netomat.net/founders.html
Andy says:
a) there is a scientist, which is always funny
Andy says:
b) there are co-ceo's
Mich@el Freedm@n-Schn@pp says:
exactly
Andy says:
c) their names are crazy
Mich@el Freedm@n-Schn@pp says:
the scientist is the main thing, but b) and c) are definite bonuses
Andy says:
well i am the chief scientist
Mich@el Freedm@n-Schn@pp says:
indeed
mike sold out at - 09:50
8.20.2002
Deep Thoughts
So in a discussion with a friend I was asked what the opposite of feminism was. While she maintained that it was "androcentrism", I claimed that it was "Manism" and that practioners of the ideology would be "Manists". Kinda like Jimmy Kimmel. She was not impressed.
In other news, Alissa was harrassed by an anonymous prankster claiming to be the Metro system's online personna (click on comments under 8/19). Any hints as to the identity of this individual will be rewarded with some silly putty and a half-used stick of "Big Red" gum.
mike sold out at - 16:41
8.16.2002
From the "Poll Watcher" column in the Washington Post
New Pollster in Da Hood
This just in from the Associated Press, with a lead too good to tamper with:
It turns out the "P" in P. Diddy stands for "public opinion."
The hip-hop entrepreneur has expanded into the polling business with his own market research company.
Each week, the Sean "Puffy" Combs-owned company will release a national survey on a different topic. The poll debuted last week with a survey on the national economy. This week's was Sept. 11-related (and Combs was one of those surveyed).
"He's involved from a visionary standpoint," said Jameel Spencer, president of Blue Mindset, about his partner Puffy. "He saw the need to establish a company like this. It's definitely his vision."
Blue Mindset is a division of Combs’ Blue Flame Marketing and Advertising, and it will target residents of "urban America" for its polling, reported AP writer Larry McShane.
mike sold out at - 17:03
8.15.2002
And we have some reader feedback from my college roommate:
(For the record, his name is not Buttock, nor did I lovingly refer to him as such in college)
From : "Metcalf, David"
To : "'michaelfs2@hotmail.com'"
Subject : your thingy.
Date : Thu, 15 Aug 2002 14:19:59 -0400
No, I'm not writing an email that talks about your unit or anything else you might find/put in your pants these days. I'm writing about your website. I think you should take it down. Not only is it poorly constructed, it simply shows the many inadequacies that riddle your vocabulary. And it is offensive. It is offensive to dead people, to conservatives and to me. I think you should consider what children--your own or someone else's--that might stumble across this piece of trash. Consider them, recognize the potential psychological damage they might be forced to endure as a result of their experience, and please remove your work from the public domain. Also, it is particularly offensive that I was not mentioned in the website.
Yours,
Buttock
mike sold out at - 16:05
8.14.2002
More subway hilarity:
Today on the way to work I step into an R train at Union Street.
The train sits in the station for a minute at which point the conductor says (I swear this is exactly what he said):
"Because there is a passenger running around the tracks at 8th street, we are being held here for a while. If we ever get to Pacific Street, I suggest you change to the IRT."
The train never left the station, so I walked to Pacific.
mike sold out at - 12:37
8.13.2002
Scene: 2:30am, sitting on the N train at Whitehall Street.
Male Conductor's voice over intercom:
"Please stand clear of the closing doors."
[30 seconds pass]
"Please stand clear of the closing doors."
[15 seconds pass]
"Stand clear of the closing doors!"
[10 seconds]
"STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS!"
[10 seconds pass]
Female conductor on the intercom, ostensibly the driver:
"GET THE FUCK OFF THE DOORS IN THE FRONT!"
[5 seconds pass]
"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BITCH, GET OFF THE FUCKING DOORS!"
doors close and the train moves on, the passengers being very, very entertained.
good times.
